BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
