Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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