glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
