On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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