let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize