I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Sober January is a disaster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Randomize