there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
