Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
