why didn't you poke me back
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Randomize
