it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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