jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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