we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
