Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
birth control should be required to get into college
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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