Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
