new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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