I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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