did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Randomize
