i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
