my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Please don't give away my fajitas
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
