You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
