If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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