I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
i think my cat just said my name.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
