She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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