How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
