i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Randomize
