Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize