I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
