You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
