The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i don't like sucking hair
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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