I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
My boob is missing a layer of skin
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
