why didn't you poke me back
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
