So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
