I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
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Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
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we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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