I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
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