so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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