oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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