Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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