I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize