your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize