You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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