you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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