I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
