I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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