he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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