I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
being pregnant is like rehab
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
