Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
we made out on top of his cat.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
