i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
