Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize