i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
