Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
be right there i have to get my cape
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
