Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
