That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize