idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
