You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
