I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
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