I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
