remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
