so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Someone signed my nipple.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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