Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
