Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
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