what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Randomize
