We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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