i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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