Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i don't like sucking hair
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize