You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
