So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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