Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
