At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
