I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
