If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
