there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
